The lingering pain is normal.

Apparently I am a highly disturbed person. I got a comment yesterday on my post about having kids that just made me laugh. I don’t mind if I scare people with this or offend people, they just don’t exactly realize what I am going on about. Yes these are my thoughts and some of them may hold some truth, but this is an entertainment blog. You read this and have a laugh or a shock or whatever it is that you do when you read this. Personally I masturbate to what I write about sometimes, I can’t imagine that is too popular though. Best part about this comment though is they seem to have a hard time spelling things. Now I have a absolutely horrid time spelling, that is why I installed a spell checker on my browser.

So a word of wisdom to those who wish to comment, install a fucking spell checker. The best part is that I know who posts what, at least to an extent. So the person that made the post shouldn’t be making the errors that they made. When you go to college to become a teacher you think you would be extra careful and proof read shit. I feel sorry for the youth that will be taught by her, hopefully they will realize that she is retarded and then just kick her out.

They stated that I should seek help, why should I do that? I saw a bunch of shrinks back in the day, that proved to be a big waste of time. When a shrink just automatically wants to prescribe you pills, you need to tell them to fuck off. I think I am fine, yeah I’m a broken man and on the inside I am dying and seek the love of others that I cannot have, but for the most part I am better and more awesome than all of you combined. So fuck off.

OK, enough of that. I am starting to think that my workouts are working out something that I didn’t exactly intend to work out. There are exercises you can do that works out some muscles that allow you to sustain longer erections and better erections. I will have to search for some articles about this, but this may be why I seem to just be erect all the time. I can’t really complain yet, I have alot of porn to go through still and I rather be stroking my cock while doing that.

This whole thing will also make the kilt at the wedding thing a lot more interesting.

Tried some new workouts yesterday and pretty much wiped myself out. I decided that it was just going to be a day of gaming and put aside some web work and some house work. Loaded up some Counter-Strike and headed to one of the servers I recently frequent. Now, in game you can spray a image, my buddy has one that is similar to his in-game name. They then asked me why I didn’t have a cool spray. I had to inform them that any spray of mine would be highly inappropriate and would probably merit a ban from the server. This peaked their interest and thus I ended up explaining what exactly a anal violin is.

To those of you who don’t know, a anal violin is where you take a pool ball and drill a hole through it. When you have done so you then insert a string from a violin or some kind of string instrument. You now have the basic assembly of the device, now find a woman that likes to have things inserted into her ass. Take the ball and put it in there, obviously it will take a little bit of work, unless she inserts things like bats and bottles in there. Then you should probably find a new girl to play with. Once it’s in there pull on the string so its tight, make sure the ball doesn’t pop out though. With the string pulled tight grab a violin bow and start to run it back and forth like you were playing a violin. You could probably pluck it like a guitar or something similar to achieve the same results. What it does is vibrate the ball in a odd fashion and if the girl likes it she will pretty much sky rocket to ecstasy immediately. If she is not fond of it make sure you run the bow faster or pluck it harder till she likes it.

Once I explained it to them there was a short silence throughout the server. Everyone then agreed that it wasn’t that bad and would be all for seeing a picture of that being done to a girl. One of the people who agreed on that was a girl as well so I suspect she will be trying that with her significant other shortly.

OH, for those who found my issue with working out and becoming erect for a very long period of time interesting, it is still doing it. I am still on the prego kick as well.

I think I am extremely broken inside. Yesterday when I got home from working out I had this erection that wouldn’t go away. I figured I must have just worked out enough and now blood is just pumping wherever the fuck it wants to go. To remedy the situation I just loaded up some porn and jacked it. Well that didn’t cure it. Loaded up some different porn and away I went again. No dice. I figured it would go away in due time so I just went off and did my normal thing online that doesn’t involve porn.

Cruising the social networking sites I saw a friend post something about a pregnant woman. He was bitching about something, then I got to thinking. Pregnant women are hot, at least the ones that I have had experience with. One was a little more involved than the others but regardless, hot all the same. Their tits get bigger and they get horny for some reason. A very big plus is that you can also cum in them as much as you want and guess what?! They can’t get pregnant cause they already are!

So at this point my erection is worse but a game plan was formed. I downloaded a bunch of pregnant porn and after a couple of hours the erection finally subsided. We will see if this trend continues, I don’t want to get sick of masturbating.

Spring is starting to finally rear its head. This time of year is my favourite. Being couped up all winter, bitching about the cold, going out is just a hassle cause of things like snow and ice. Spring brings a much refreshing and needed change. Cars that are kept in storage get to come out, grilling out in the back while drinking a beer, fires and all the fun things that warm weather brings. One very important thing happens thought, the girls start to wear less clothing. That makes me happy beyond anything else in this world.

Then we get to see the twins as well. I LOVE when women bring the twins out to play. Those beautiful, bouncy and voluptuous globes (or whatever their shape may be. I don’t discriminate, as long as I can suck on them.) are THE highlight of spring. When I go out to have my morning cig at work its nice to sometime see the girls in short shorts and a sports bra just jogging along. If their jugs are impressive enough that sports bra has no chance of preventing them from bouncing gloriously. I always sit there and try to will them to fall out, they don’t want to be contained like that! THEY WANT TO BE FREE! LET THEM OUT!

Speaking about jogging, I am start a interesting work out routine that involves me not jogging. I need to get in shape for my buddys wedding, I plan on incorporating a zip line or some kind of crazy antic. I figure if I wear a kilt and zip line down to where I have to stand, it will lend to be the best wedding gift anyone could give.

So my birthday happens to be on the 15th of March. That is a very special day in history, the Ides of March. For those who don’t know, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ides_of_march, Ceaser was murdered by a friend. So every year I fully expect to be murdered by a friend, thus I never hold a party on my birthday. I usually try to stay inside all day and make minimal contact with the outside world. I am not exactly a superstitious or paranoid person, but fucking hell I don’t want to get stabbed to death on my birthday.

So that is it for now.

I have determined that the state of the world is in worse shape than I previously thought. The amount of idiots that are being produced is staggering. Dealing with people is not exactly my strong suit. I enjoy the company of a select few and pretty much have complete hate for everyone else. There is justification for this, I fucking hate people who are stupid. The only time it’s OK to be stupid is if you are a female and like to take your clothes off. I won’t date you, but I will gladly stare at your body if you are good looking. Recently a friend made a comment about how a establishment that recently opened up in the area is garbage because of the people that go there. He used the term ghetto to describe it. An uproar ensued and people started to call him racist. What the fuck, are you people that fucking stupid? It’s ghetto because of the type of people that show up and their attitudes. White people and Black people were there and he mentioned the white trash only. If you are going to pull the race card just fucking shoot yourself.

He mentioned that there was a chick there that was all tatted up and had a black eye. Now that is just plain hot. Tats are hot on a chick, but add a black eye? That means she likes it rough. She has to cause she is still with the guy. Or she is that fucking pathetic and just takes it. If that is the case she needs to be hit a couple more times till she realizes that she needs to do something about that. I like to think that she just likes it rough, you know screams to be punched in the face while being fucked. Any chick who likes it rough and takes it to a certain degree is OK in my book.

The whole situation pissed me off, people who instantly pull the race card have no legitimate response to an argument or opinion. If you have the inability to properly engage in a argument and bring up valid points just shut the fuck up. Things like this make me want to punch babies and I like babies. Until they become retarded fussy and wont shut the fuck up despite the fact that you are there giving them the attention and other needs they have. Then they can go fuck themselves.

So I have been neglecting this lately. Sorry to anyone who somehow enjoyed what I wrote.

Lately I have been in this state of mind that renders me in odd moods. I seem to be very annoyed with everything I do and nothing is satisfactory. This links to the whole I hate myself almost as much as I hate hippies and apple products. Small things start to annoy me at first, like the way I walk through a door. I start thinking crazy thoughts like, “Seriously? Could I have done that any fucking slower? Jesus fucking Christ pull yourself together!”. My cat usually will greet me with meowing of either joy or pure hate, I have yet to figure out which one it is, and thus annoy the fuck out of me for that. I start yelling at the cat with but it has little effect on him. He just meows and ends up purring and rubbing against my leg. At that point I am pretty sure he is mocking me.

With a feeling of defeat I will usually end up needing to attack someone to make myself feel better. This involves me finding some poor high school kid that has shitty self esteem and is easily bullied. The internet is full of those types of people. I can then launch a full out attack on the poor soul. Nine times out of ten I can get everyone else that is playing the game on that server to join in. Sometimes the kid leaves right away, most of the time they stay and cry about it. Usually ends up in a awesome event that leaves me a little more empty on the inside than before I began.

The cat shows up again to demand attention. Usually in the form of mauling, I think that is the only way he knows how to show love and appreciation. He must have learned that from my previous relationships. With the emptiness inside me I again go on a search of something to feel better. The feeling of loneliness is usually very prominent at this point. I will hit up cam whores and see if I can get some kind of sense of fulfillment. Instead they decide to talk to me about life issues or how something funny happened to them lately. This makes me hate my life even more and I no longer yearn to talk to them.

So basically whores and making fun of people no longer peak my interest as of late. I think I am dying, my cat probably senses this and will be awaiting patiently so he can eat my eyes.

Slacked a little after the fashion show, spent most of Sunday recovering from the night before. The show was eventful, models walking around with very little on. Unfortunately it only last like 20 minutes, they then got dressed and everyone started to dance. Now this is the first time I had been to a club so it was a very different experience than I am used to. I drank and simply looked at the mass of people dancing before I started “dancing”. Me dancing is more like a person having an epileptic seizure. Regardless it was a good time, someone got knocked the fuck out as well. Violence always makes me happy. After awhile of just standing by the bar and drinking I started to think back on the lingerie show.

Most of the girls were good looking, the others had weird things that just didn’t do it for me. My buddies fiancée had the best stage presence and by stage presence I mean she moved in a very seductive way where the other girls just kinda walked up stood there then turned around. I think the show would have been better if they also modelled sex toys as well. You know walk out in the lingerie with a butt plug in or nipple clamps on. That would have been really fucking awesome. One could come out on all 4s with a leash on and another chick whipping her to get moving. Oh the magical things that would happen if I was in charge of events like these. Speaking about sex toys, my friend got approved for the sex toy reviewing thingy. I really need to find a girl that will let me use toys on her to review them.

Got a call last night that there will be another model fashion show display thing or something. Needless to say I am going to go to this one, specially since its a lingerie show. So, a bunch of the areas hottest models wearing lingerie. Fucking win. My friend who is getting us in cause his girl is a model is also going to be attempting to hook me up with his cousin. She bar tends at the club that this is being held at, I am probably going to get alcohol poisoning. I think attempting to hook me up when there is a bunch of eye candy walking around is a bad idea. If I don’t convince her I that I am a perverted asshole by talking, I am pretty sure my actions will. We will have VIP access so will feel oh so important, even though I heard its not that great. I don’t fucking care, it will say VIP and that is what I am god fucking damn.

This also comes at a interesting time. I have alot of shit on my mind and thinking about it causes me to go into some massive depression. So I wonder how I am going to handle this event. I can only imagine what the liquor is going to do to me in my state. I will probably become a raving lunatic, despite people thinking I am already one. I wish I could go into greater detail about this, but there is parties involved and I feel that it just wouldn’t be right.

So this event might be a good thing, yet it also could be a bad thing. Regardless I will have a good story or a rant or I wont post a update cause I will be in jail. Depends if the whores can take a slap on the ass as a compliment and not as sexual assault.

My friend informed me the other night that she will be reviewing sex toys. Meaning she will be getting them free and all she has to do is talk about how it felt as she fucked herself with it. Now that sounds like a good deal for her and her fiancée, until she ends up with more toys than her kids. I started to think on how entertaining that would be if I signed up for it and then reviewed on how fun it is to use on girls. I would have to have new categories made up, ease of insertion, how much lube is usually required, how hard you can use it before she starts to cry and so on. I would also hunt for the scariest looking toys out there. Shit everyone is afraid to buy cause they think it will scare off their significant other. I would be a pioneer for these people let them know how much pain and/or pleasure a certain device will inflict upon a woman. I could also start up a porn site on the side, yeah it has been done before but not in my style. I am sure it would be a hit.

I think the best part of the whole experience would be her facial expressions. Getting ready to fool around or have a intimate moment then BAM, out comes a silicon monstrosity meant to violate her twice while stimulating 15 other areas. I don’t know if that toy exists, but I will be searching for it. Next best part would be if she enjoyed it. Then that’s just a whole new level of fun and entertainment.  Start a category for how many times she came while you assaulted her with it. Can she still walk after using it? Yes? 3 star rating maximum despite how well it did in the other areas. Unless it made her cry, then its 4 star.

Another category could be “Does this toy play well with others?”. Basically can you have one toy in her ass, a vibrator on her clit and fuck her with the toy without making her want to kill you. Could also have a “Does this toy help introduce her to anal?” category. That way people could see what toys work the best for preparing to get railed in the ass. This sounds more and more like a awesome idea. I need to get a girl that agrees with me on this, or maybe just some chloroform.