I had a conversation with a friend about my standards in women. Let me say one thing about it really quick, I masturbated to pregnant women and midgets last night. Now I don’t only go for women who are extremely attractive, but I don’t go for just personality either. There are alot of checks and balances that are involved in me choosing who I want to violate. Here is a quick rundown of my checklist.

  1. Can I get erect from just looking at her or do I need to think of a hotter chick?
  2. Does her self esteem need to be broken or built up?
  3. How does she react to the crazy shit I talk about?
  4. Is she willing to take it in the ass?
  5. Is she willing to experiment with sex that is not the norm?
  6. Is she allergic to rope?

That is just a very basic checklist that I go by. There are things like “Is she submissive?” and “Can she cook or do I need to beat her?” as well. The list is probably why I don’t end up with long term relationships most of the time. It takes me a couple of months to figure out if the checklist says Yay or Nay. Eventually there will be a girl who passes it, at least my penis hopes so.

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