The lingering pain is normal.

Slacked a little after the fashion show, spent most of Sunday recovering from the night before. The show was eventful, models walking around with very little on. Unfortunately it only last like 20 minutes, they then got dressed and everyone started to dance. Now this is the first time I had been to a club so it was a very different experience than I am used to. I drank and simply looked at the mass of people dancing before I started “dancing”. Me dancing is more like a person having an epileptic seizure. Regardless it was a good time, someone got knocked the fuck out as well. Violence always makes me happy. After awhile of just standing by the bar and drinking I started to think back on the lingerie show.

Most of the girls were good looking, the others had weird things that just didn’t do it for me. My buddies fiancée had the best stage presence and by stage presence I mean she moved in a very seductive way where the other girls just kinda walked up stood there then turned around. I think the show would have been better if they also modelled sex toys as well. You know walk out in the lingerie with a butt plug in or nipple clamps on. That would have been really fucking awesome. One could come out on all 4s with a leash on and another chick whipping her to get moving. Oh the magical things that would happen if I was in charge of events like these. Speaking about sex toys, my friend got approved for the sex toy reviewing thingy. I really need to find a girl that will let me use toys on her to review them.

Got a call last night that there will be another model fashion show display thing or something. Needless to say I am going to go to this one, specially since its a lingerie show. So, a bunch of the areas hottest models wearing lingerie. Fucking win. My friend who is getting us in cause his girl is a model is also going to be attempting to hook me up with his cousin. She bar tends at the club that this is being held at, I am probably going to get alcohol poisoning. I think attempting to hook me up when there is a bunch of eye candy walking around is a bad idea. If I don’t convince her I that I am a perverted asshole by talking, I am pretty sure my actions will. We will have VIP access so will feel oh so important, even though I heard its not that great. I don’t fucking care, it will say VIP and that is what I am god fucking damn.

This also comes at a interesting time. I have alot of shit on my mind and thinking about it causes me to go into some massive depression. So I wonder how I am going to handle this event. I can only imagine what the liquor is going to do to me in my state. I will probably become a raving lunatic, despite people thinking I am already one. I wish I could go into greater detail about this, but there is parties involved and I feel that it just wouldn’t be right.

So this event might be a good thing, yet it also could be a bad thing. Regardless I will have a good story or a rant or I wont post a update cause I will be in jail. Depends if the whores can take a slap on the ass as a compliment and not as sexual assault.

My friend informed me the other night that she will be reviewing sex toys. Meaning she will be getting them free and all she has to do is talk about how it felt as she fucked herself with it. Now that sounds like a good deal for her and her fiancée, until she ends up with more toys than her kids. I started to think on how entertaining that would be if I signed up for it and then reviewed on how fun it is to use on girls. I would have to have new categories made up, ease of insertion, how much lube is usually required, how hard you can use it before she starts to cry and so on. I would also hunt for the scariest looking toys out there. Shit everyone is afraid to buy cause they think it will scare off their significant other. I would be a pioneer for these people let them know how much pain and/or pleasure a certain device will inflict upon a woman. I could also start up a porn site on the side, yeah it has been done before but not in my style. I am sure it would be a hit.

I think the best part of the whole experience would be her facial expressions. Getting ready to fool around or have a intimate moment then BAM, out comes a silicon monstrosity meant to violate her twice while stimulating 15 other areas. I don’t know if that toy exists, but I will be searching for it. Next best part would be if she enjoyed it. Then that’s just a whole new level of fun and entertainment.  Start a category for how many times she came while you assaulted her with it. Can she still walk after using it? Yes? 3 star rating maximum despite how well it did in the other areas. Unless it made her cry, then its 4 star.

Another category could be “Does this toy play well with others?”. Basically can you have one toy in her ass, a vibrator on her clit and fuck her with the toy without making her want to kill you. Could also have a “Does this toy help introduce her to anal?” category. That way people could see what toys work the best for preparing to get railed in the ass. This sounds more and more like a awesome idea. I need to get a girl that agrees with me on this, or maybe just some chloroform.

A while back my friend was bugging me that I need to have kids. She has 2 and want’s to have a little one around again, just not one of hers. I found it entertaining, asking me of all people to procreate. It usually is hard for someone to deal with me on “sees me once and awhile” basis let alone daily for the rest of their lives. So trying to find someone that would want to have my children would be next to impossible. That and imagine what the kid would be like. If it was a boy he would grow up hating the entire world attempting to take it over or he would be mildly retarded. If it was a girl she would be a whore and probably get knocked up around age 16 and be mildly retarded. I always imagine the whole scene where the girl finds out she is pregnant and tells the boyfriend/lover/whatever that she is with child to be slightly different for me. For instance, she would probably run to the closet and grab a coat hanger in an attempt to cleanse her body of the abomination that is growing.

I would like to have kids one day but it just seems to be far fetched. The whole concept of finding someone who would want to attempt to spend the rest of their life together with me is mind boggling. She would have to deal with random racial outbursts, yelling to get back in the fucking kitchen and my excessive use of the word cunt. What would be entertaining though is if some chick does have my kid in the baby oven, I would probably attempt to influence it right off the bat. You know how people put head phones on the pregnant woman’s belly and play classical music? Fuck that game, industrial will be played. That kid is going to kick his way out of the womb and be as metal as possible. Most likely would be a boy as my sperm would not allow me to have a girl. Kid would come out with a beard, cig in one hand and a glass of brandy in the other.

Depending on the current obsession I hold as the kid is growing up, I would try to mold him to end up a certain way. He wants a car when he turns 16? You gotta build it bitch. I would go find something that needs a serious amount of work and make him fix it up. Won’t get the ladies with a non running rusted pile of aids will ya, better get that engine rebuilt and a fresh coat of paint on it. Fucker would probably be lazy too, nothing a shock collar couldn’t fix. If he is doing bad in school I would beat him till his grades got better. Nothing like fear to motivate someone. Now that I think of it I really should work on getting a kid. If I can have a ton of kids I could build a small army. Then I could start my plans for world domination…

I just got a spam email with a subject that hit me hard. “You have little joy in life?” it said. I saw it and instantly went into a rage. Who the fuck does this piece of shit he is? I have joy in my life, I have more than enough joy! Actually it worried me, I franticly grabbed a piece of paper and started to write down the joys in my life:

• The chicks ass from the “Dat Ass” post.
• My penis.
• My computer and game systems
• …..

This is not going in my favour. Granted the joys in my life are pretty big to me, but the spambot was right, I have little joy in life. How the fuck could this have happened? I have to have more joys than this, I started to ramble off other body parts of the chick from the Dat Ass post, that probably should be consolidated to a single entry. I started to look through my facebook and other online profiles on forums, trying to find SOMETHING that I can consider a joy. Found my camera, added that. My cars, added those as well. The list was still small, I added my anger and perverse thoughts. Those are very valid joys in my life.

The list stopped growing after that. I started to panic, my co workers were already staring at me like I was possessed. One of them muttered “He is just sobering up. He will be fine when the shock wears off.”. My other co workers then agreed with him and did that whole, “Oh yeah, of course, damn alky” thing. I don’t know what is more disturbing, the fact that I was freaking out because of a spam message or that my co workers associated my panic attack to me sobering up and accepted that without flinching. Soon the waves of panic turned back to rage. I decided to respond to the message. I was going to inform that nosey cock sucker that I am content with my joys in life. So what if I consider some girls ass or my perverse thoughts a joy in life, you can go fuck yourself. You are nothing but a god damned bot or a beaten Asian child that is forced to write these things for pennies!

So fuck you spam message. You will not break me today, I will continue to live on just as I have!

That is all.

Friend was giving me shit about not having a new post up. Well, since I really don’t have anything to say that would be worthy of a blog post, I shall talk about her ass.

Her ass is what I would call a perfect 10. It’s firm, not too firm tho and just feels awesome when you squeeze it. The feel of my hand against her bare ass is beyond words. I could keep my hands on that ass forever and be content with life. When you give it a healthy slap it makes a wonderful sound, she does as well when she lets out a whimper of pain mixed with pleasure. The shape is amazing too, a nice round shape, not too big, not too small. Matched with her hips, it is a divine sight to behold. The thought of it makes me drool and become erect. If it wouldn’t ruin the beauty that it is I would brand it. Oh how the tone of her skin shines so nicely when the moon light hits it. I don’t have any pics for you guys so don’t ask, this one is all mine.

I can only imagine what she is thinking as she reads this. Probably a little disturbed, maybe a little wet. I guarantee that she won’t bug me about not making a post again though.