I see a red door and I want it painted black.
- January 20th, 2010
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The mind and soul are two very unstable things in my life. They also seem unstable in everyone else’s life now that I think about it. I have been suffering some pretty massive bouts of depression lately. Idiotic people have a tendency to depress me and I have been dealing with alot of them lately. One of the biggest problems with being depressed is you can’t really express yourself about it without being called emo. I abso-fucking-lutely hate emo kids, can’t fucking stand them. Bunch of guys dressing up as women and acting all sensitive and that no body understands them. Fuck you, you aren’t different, you aren’t special and you sure as fuck aren’t breaking away from the norm. Following some god damned fad to get some emo chick pussy. Not that I can really blame you, emo chicks can be pretty fucking hot. I would give a emo chick a real reason to cry, like having to walk bow legged or not being able to shit right for a week.
These fucks know nothing about real depression. I have lived with bi polar since it surfaced when I was in the 4th grade. It got really bad around grade six all the way till I found out how to deal with the bullshit without the help of medication. It fucking sucks, yet these assclowns made a god damn lifestyle out of it. You get to stop when you grow out of it, I can’t and you guys give assholes like me a a reputation that is associated with whiny bitches. I wish I could grow out of things, like being hispanic. Being 50% hispanic is no treat let me tell you. If you are outside, no matter what you are doing, you have urges to either landscape or build things. There you are, just walking, all of a sudden you grab a rake and start yelling “¿Dónde está la Biblioteca?” at random people. It is not a pretty sight.
Ok, I am done ranting about my depression. Fuck you emo kids. I hate your life and will you please actually kill yourself instead of pretending to commit suicide. No one likes a failure, specially when they fail at taking their life. Which is like failing at failing which should be a win but its a double fail. Now my head hurts.
Cannot stand ‘emo kids’ for the exact same reason. Worse, is a lot of people classify me also as one. What is it? Because I dye my hair red, the black rimmed glasses which I think look decent on me, or the fact that I tell it how it is and don’t put a fake ass smile on my face and say “Everything is fine. I’m happy blah blah fucking blah.” …
I’m really setting myself up here. Apparently I’m an emo kid. *waves* Therefore, I hate myself? … hmm. I’m not even going to bother thinking about this anymore. It’s too confusing and I already have a headache.
Hope you start doing better soon. I know better than to say “I hope you feel better soon” because quite frankly it’s completely out of your control. Therefore, I hope something triggers fucking awesome vibes and you snap out of it. How is that we’re able to fucking talk to each other when you’re low, and I’m running high. We balance each other out? Weird. Whatever.
@Nikkole
I don’t get crazy psychotic when I hit lows. Remember, I actually have a control on shit
Depression sucks for your loved ones too. I myself am not clinically depressed but I grew up with it watching my mother with her undiagnosed depression and her addiction to valium. My wife is clinically depressed and has taken just about every anti depressant out there. Currently she is doing very well on Lexapro and Cymbalta. Living with all the highs and lows are difficult but I will always stand by her.
Myles I truly will never understand the symptoms of depression I can only assume its very consuming mentally , physically and emotionally. My daughter in law is Bi Poler and it has causes great issues with us and our grandchildren.
People and insurance companies need to understand its an illness just like any other disease but until that happens Depression will be thought of as a weakness.
@Dan BAER AKA Holeshot
It does get very tiring mentally. But meds are something I refuse to take because of side effects. I hope things improve with your daughter in law Dan.
I don’t know which one I hate more? EMO fucks or Clowns? I wish I could sprinkle some AIDS on a knife and give it to them, they do like to cut themselves, don’t they? Problem solved…